Mariam

Saumu’s situation seemed to have a relatively easy solution in hindsight: get her out of her bad living conditions and into a better living environment, and ensure she gets a good education. Once I went ahead and got her into a boarding school, though, I also had to consider the fate of her 14 year old sister, Mariam. Until this recent trip to Tanga, I didn’t know that Saumu had a sister. She had never mentioned her to me. When I met Mariam for the first time I was a little sceptical that they were truly sisters – Saumu’s features were fine and delicate, her build almost bird-like, while Mariam was petite but tough, with the same nose but features more like her father I presume. Saumu has been through some extremely hard times, but maintains a certain happy-go-lucky air about herself and an infectious laugh. Mariam, I am sure, has been through hell and back, and wears her scars under a tough, sometimes cold, armour. She has a beautiful smile, the same curly eyelashes and sad eyes.

I tried to get to know Mariam, but I found her difficult to connect with. She is shy and hesitant to let down her guard easily – understandably so. She too, eats and hangs out at her Auntie’s house which is right next to her primary school. At age 14, she really should be at a level higher than Standard 6, but she is still struggling to maintain a decent level of achievement at school. At night, she tells us that she sleeps at a house alone – or with Saumu for the month she wasn’t at the orphanage or boarding school – under the relative supervision of some neighbours. She shut down completely when we asked about the arrangements there, or what the neighbours were like. I still don’t know what happens there, but I presume it can’t be good.

With the help of my friends in Tanga, we met with Saumu and Mariam’s father and asked him if he would be willing to find a new place for Mariam to sleep, now that Saumu wouldn’t be there with her. He agreed to see if she could stay with his girlfriend, but I didn’t find out in the end if she actually moved there. Reluctant to tell us much of anything, I wasn’t sure what more I could do for this 14 year old girl, who obviously has a great deal of attachment to her Auntie and neighbours near her school.

I invited Mariam out with the little girls and I on several occasions hoping that she’d open up to me so I could know how to help her. I’m not sure if they were too young for her, or she wasn’t interested in making friends, but when they attempted to get her involved in coloring, shopping, crafts, looking at photos or anything else, she preferred to keep quiet and keep a safe distance. When I told my younger sister, Annie, about Mariam, she asked if there was anything we could do to help and offered to pay for any expenses I incurred while trying to improve Mariam’s quality of life. While I don’t feel that I did enough, and I still worry about how she is faring, this is what I managed to do with Annie’s $71:

-Paid her year’s school fees at a Government Primary school: $5
-Met with her teachers and learned that she is REALLY struggling in all subjects in school. She feels ashamed of her work and sometimes doesn’t hand in her homework at all. I hired 2 tutors who will each work with her twice a week, helping with English and Math. This will cost about $25 for the full school year.
-Took her to the Clinic for a full medical check-up to learn that she has no major problems – No malaria, HIV or anything to be too worried about, but she did have a minor infection. The check-up and antibiotic treatment cost about $11.
-I got her a new pair of uniform shoes to replace her current ones which are falling apart: $6
-3 pairs of new underwear and 4 pairs of socks: $3
-Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap: $2
-A new Khanga (I only ever saw her wear skirts & khangas) and a few new shirts: $4
-A school bag/backpack: $6.50
-Exercise books, pens, pencils, stationery, erasers, pencil sharpener etc: $3
-Lots of laundry soap (her infection may have been caused by improper washing): $2
-Sandals (she only owned the 1 pair of broken school uniform shoes): $2.50
-An envelope with my address & a stamp on it (and the instructions to write to me if she wants to tell me anything or if she is having any problems – with the promise that I’ll try to help): $1

THANK YOU ANNIE!
I don’t think we’ve found a permanent solution to help Mariam out of her difficult situation, but for now I hope to improve her quality of education. From all my experiences volunteering in Africa, I truly believe that Education is the best route towards escaping poverty. Hopefully we can help Mariam build some confidence in school and get her through to secondary school. If I thought that Mariam would excel in boarding school, I would have sent her there with Saumu, but her ties to her Auntie are too close and her personality doesn’t seem to suit a big group environment – the experience would have infringed on the freedom she has had all her life and I just don’t think she would have fit in, sadly. When I go back to Tanzania in December I’ll see what more I can do to help her living situation and anything else to keep her safe. In the meantime my friends in Tanga have promised to check in on her and see if she shows any sign of improvement with the new tutors at school. Hopefully that $71 in basic supplies and education will get her along until then. Thanks again, dada.