La la la la Life goes on...

I really did have every intention of writing more about my experiences as I had the time to process them. I really did. Life, however, always seems to get in my way. I've been catapaulted back into the western world with force, as I'm well into my 4th season of work at this luxury 5-star fishing resort. I cringe at wealth so carelessly thrown around, but have learned to keep quiet for lack of a feasible solution. I miss the kids more than anything, I miss Saphia and Bonifis, the easy routines and the Stoney Tangawizi, and I really, really miss Saumu. I've written back and sent photos, but haven't heard anything back. Now it's time to wait and see what happens.

Many people have asked me if I will go back, and the simple answer is a definitive Yes. I want to go back more than anything, but timing is important and there are so many places out there that I want to see. I'm torn between heading straight for Tanga the day I finish work and living there for 6 months until I run out of money - or travelling around to some places I've yet to experience and making a stop in Tanzania somewhere along (or far out of) the way.

I really wish I had the time, energy and creativity to keep writing. I've been working and living on a small, drama-filled island for about 6 weeks now, and while I have processed some of what has happened, I have spent most of my time caught up in my own petty problems. This year especially, I've been finding it particularly hard to keep perspective when high-school-esque gossip circulates regularly in the confines of a secluded and self-contained work environment. I remind myself how minor my issues really are by thinking of the way of life I saw and experienced in Tanzania, but often that just makes me even more sad. I can't go a day without thinking about the kids, worrying how Saumu is feeling or wondering if the programs I put into place are still operational or beneficial. I can think about it all I like, but I guess I will never really know. I have no choice but to deal with the problems I'm faced with here and endure whatever minor hardships come my way with some grace, regardless of how insignificant they appear in comparison to what I've seen. Now, if only I could really go home at the end of the day...

I've written 3+ books full of random thoughts since I left this Island last October - Maybe I'll start putting up bits of that and sorting through my thoughts a little more seriously. Even if I'm not travelling to exotic places, writing has always been a helpful outlet in making sense of my jaded thoughts.

La la la la Life goes on...